Sakari's Awesome Wallpaper of the Week #3

Welcome to the 3rd installment of this exciting new series! This time, I want you to tell me what kind of wallpaper I should deliver next week. Humorous, epic, artistic or "cool". Dont worry kids! You can choose more than one!

But today's wallpaper is... *drumroll*

Zombeeeh mayheeem!

When I come back we play, yes?

Intro

Zombie Mayhem is a large scale outdoor game where a team of ”zombies” hunts down a team of ”humans” in a designated game area over a pre-determined period of time. At least 10 people are required for an effective game. The game is intended to play during night time, and aims for plenty of running, hiding, sneaking and suspense.

Preparation

What you need:

- 10 or more players

- A piece of cloth to be used as a head/armband with two different colours on either side (This is used for identifying teams.)

- Map marked with the game area and base point (see ”Game Area”)

- Charged mobile phone

Optional:

- Walkie talkie

- Flashlight

Walkie talkies – Ideally, all members of both teams would have multi-channeled walkie talkies, with which to communicate to members of their team. These rules are written assuming such is the case.

Game Organiser

One player should be designated the game organiser or game leader. It is necessary for the game leader to have every players mobile phone number, and for every player to have the game leader’s mobile phone number. This is partly necessary should any player become lost during the game or should something unexpected occur. Any players who drop out of the game for some reason must send an SMS to the game leader. The game leader also sends an SMS to all players at the end of the game.

Ideally all members of the human team would send an SMS to the game leader when they join the zombie team. This way, players will not be left prowling the game area when all the humans have been caught. Once the game leader recognises that all humans have been caught, he can send an SMS to all players to end the game.

Game Area

The size of the game area should be adapted to the the number of players. Generally the area should be fairly large, but can of course be varied depending on the type of game you wish to play. A too large game area may result in a uneventful game, where as a too small area may result in a confusing game with little suspense. Ideally, most of the game area should include plenty of dark areas and places suitable for hiding and sneaking.

A map with the game area clearly indicated is given to all players. Players are trusted not to leave the game area during the game, or to exploit non-game areas for shortcuts or other advantages. A base point should be indicated on the map, a place where players gather at the beginning and end of the game.

Teams

Before the game begins, the initial members of the zombie team must be determined. The size of the initial zombie team should be adapted according to the number of players, but should always number at least three people. All other players start the game as part of the human team. Members of opposite teams may not maintain any contact with each other

Prize

Because some human players may have the tendency towards pathetic and cowardly behaviour such has digging themselves into one hiding place and staying there forever, it is recommended that some kind of ”treasure” be placed in the game area. This should be placed in a location where it cannot be easily spotted by bystanders not taking part in the game, but where players can stumble upon it should they be randomly wandering the game area. The treasure should be placed in way that can be easily recognised as belonging to the game, with perhaps a congragulatory note stuck to it. Treasure can be as simple as a six pack of beer on a big rock, as long as it entices the human players to keep moving. It is not permissible for members of the human team to know the location of the treasure before the game.

Game End

A finishing time for the game must be determined. All players must be aware of the time the game ends and it is advisable for everyone to keep track of time themselves, for example setting a cell phone alarm to go off at the agreed time. The game leader should also notify the players via SMS when the game ends. When the game ends, all players return to the base point marked on the map.

The Game

Objective

The objective for the humans is simple, survive until the end of the game. The objective of the zombie team is to make sure that this doesn’t happen.

Catching Humans

Humans join the zombie team if they are grabbed or or obviously touched by a member of the zombie team. Slight brushes and cases open to dispute do not count. Play fair! When a human is caught, they join the zombie team and function in exactly the same way as other zombies, catching humans and turning them into zombies. A human player joining the zombie team must change his head/armband the other way round to display the colour representing the zombie team. Players must not move from their location while doing this and may only catch other humans once they have retied their head/armband. Once a human player has been caught they must cease any communication with their former team mates, although an ominous ”KRRHHAARGGHH...” may be said into the walkie talkie.

Game Sequence

1. Gather all players at base point.

2. Distribute maps and head/armbands if not already done.

3. Determine initial zombies.

4. Make sure game end time is clear to everyone.

5. Human team spreads out into the game area.

6. Aproximately five minutes later the zombie team spreads out for the hunt!

7. The game time runs out or all humans have been zombified, players return to base point.

8. Unclaimed treasure is retreived, or left in place for another round!

Battlefield Heroes

As some of you may know, a new, completely free of charge Battlefield game is being released at early 2009. The game is a cartoon style shooter set in WWII. The game will be free to download at www.battlefield-heroes.com.

I'm quite sure that it will work on all of your computers without that many framerate issues. The game will be alot like the previous battlefield games but with alot more humor implemented. Even the trailer is hilarious:



They even made it possible to sit on the plane's wings so you won't have to struggle trying to lay down on the wings like in previous games. This could become one of our new favourite shooter lan games (after Pirates, Vikings and Knights).

After seeing that video you might think it's third person only, but according to wikipedia its also first person so no need to worry about that.

Also according to wikipedia, here are some of the achievements:

Abilities are special powers that each player gets when they level up. Known abilities at this time are Grenade Spam ability (allows 15 grenades to be thrown at a time), I Eat Grenades ability (absorb grenades and heal the player), Blasting Strike ability (Flings any nearby tanks, jeeps and infantry into the air), Life-Points Boost, and Incendiary Ammo.[4]

Healing is by a 'blast heal', a soldier ability that heals the player and any friendlies nearby. Players also have a bandage which restores less health and only works for your own character. There is no medic class for this reason.

Battlefield Heroes also uses the Play4Free system by EA that will release more free games in the future.

If you want more information, here are the scanned pages of this game from Pelit magazine:

1. http://dump.no/files/cf383ace01cd/Battlefield_heroes_1.jpg
2. http://dump.no/files/cf383ace01cd/Battlefield_Heroes_2.jpg

And on an offtopic note, anyone remember this? www.youtube.com/thereilukerho

Doors

My first short film. I will propably make more similar short films so if there is anything you think I can improve, do post a comment.

Sakari's Awesome Wallpaper of the Week #2

Hallo thar folks, time for my second attempt to bring you a swanky new wallpaper. It was very hard to choose, and I hope today's wallpaper appeals to our interests.


Why so serious?

Top 11 PC Games

These are the Top 11 PC Games in my oppinion at the time of posting.



As seen at Jonttu's Blog

Also as an update I would like to add Nucler Aftermath that I made in Gmod.

Sakari's Awesome Wallpaper of the Week #1

The first in my new weekly series at TRK. If you find them really crap, just let me know, and I will promptly disregard your complaints.

Lets start the series with this, frankly kickass wallpaper.


(Click to enlarge, fools)

Dance Dance Revolution Musical

From kotaku:

Brace yourselves for the theater event of the year: Dance Dance Revolution, the musical. Starring As The World Turns actor Van Hansis, it will feature original songs, a 40-person cast and DDR. The plot:

It's set in an Orwellian society where a dance prophet named Moonbeam Funk helps dancing youth gangs rebel against a fascist government. The company working on the show describes it as "like Footloose set in the future — but kind of scarier, and with 40 really attractive, barely-clothed young actors and buckets of free beer."

An oppressive regime, video games, scantly clad people and beer. Something for everyone!

What more could we wish for?

Swiss Cheese Week! Hooray!

Everything you ever wanted to know about Swiss Cheese! Three cheers for Swiss Cheese week!

Hip hip! ... (continue in comments)

Awesome Youtube Videos Week! (2)

*Flamebait* (Because all my stuff is.)

Here is my video:

We were only supposed to put links and not embed them right?

"Bill Bailey - The Greatest Nursery Rhyme Album Ever Played By World's Top Keyboardists"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AQLuOea-cYg

"Large Hadron Rap"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j50ZssEojtM

"Extremely Funny Metal Commercial"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sLs7xoX_vX4

"Your Pony died because it was not pretty enough"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CwZFcoGXkrU

Awesome Youtube Videos Week!

Start's now, with this masterpiece!


Also, I propose that people can give "boo"s to videos they don't like. If a video receives four or more boos it gets deleted. So if you dont like it, comment "boo!"

You can counter someones boo by posting "counter-boo!", which the booer can counter with "counter-counter-boo!" and so on giving us the longest damn list of comments ever. j/k

Video deletion can be vetoed!

Recruiting poster for Tonyism?

Might also be an advert for Tabasco.

Combo Heat

Last weekend I got nuts about Magic comboes and designed a couple of combo decks.

At first I should talk a bit about the basics of combo decks. First of all many of the combo decks include something that's called an engine. Engine is usually something that converts one resource into another. In addition to the engine, combo decks also need a body. You know, a car with an engine doesn't move without a body. Body is something you use to exploit the engine to do neat stuff. Lets take an example. Lets talk about my Hunting Pack combo deck. The engine is a basic land equipped with a bunch of Fertile Grounds. The body is Dream's Grip-style cards that let me tap the land to make tons of mana many times a turn.

Of course the engine and the body aren't enough if the combo deck doesn't have some sort of a win condition. Mine's winning condition is Hunting Pack as most of you already know. In addition to the things above combo decks have tons of card draw, cantrips and tutors to dig the combo out. My deck has a full set of Mystical Teachings to search for the essential parts.


As I mentioned on the very beginning of this post, I designed some combo decks. The basic idea of two of them are explained below. I didn't include decklists because I know no one would've read them anyway :D (Just tell me if you want a full decklist). I would like to hear your thoughts about 'em.

Let's roll...


Fluctuator Combo

This deck is a good example of combo engine and body. The deck casts Fluctuator and then starts drawing tons of cards for free since most the deck is filled with cycling cards (Remote Isle for example). Fluctuator is the engine and cycling cards are the body. When I get Fluctuator, I draws cards until I get Niv-Mizzet. Then I draw even more cards to deal damage to the opponent with Niv. If it looks like the opponent is running high on life, I can cast Paradigm Shifts to be able to draw the library again and again. In my opinion the idea of the combo is really cleaver since basically the whole deck is card drawing because of cycling ability and getting Fluctuator into hand shouldn't be a problem.


Broodrush

This combo deck uses the full advantage of Rush of Knowledge. The combo is basically to play Myr Enforcer or Spire Golem and then cast Rush of Knowledge to draw shitloads of cards and play affinity creatures like Frogmite for free. Casting Rush of Knowledge should get you another Rush of Knowledge in hand or at least some other card drawing spells to draw it and play it again on the next turn. Later on the deck can cast Battered Golem and equip Paradise Mantle on it to add mana to the mana pool each time an artifact comes into play. Since the deck has so many affinity creatures the player with with two Battered Golems with Mantles in play usually gets enough mana to play multiple Rush of Knowledges during the same turn and play four Broodstars for maximum fun.


If you read the two comboes above please comment which one do you prefer.

Last but not the least I want to encourage everyone to try to design a combo deck. In my opinion combo decks aren't as fun decks to play as some of the other archtypes since they play each game similary and after a couple of games the deck becomes boring. But here are the good news.. First of all designing a cleaver combo is rewarding but its also just so cool to get 46 4/4 beast creature tokens in play in a single turn. And even more funny, to loose them all during the very same turn. Combo decks don't usually win all that often but when they do win, they do it with attitude.. Or lose with attitude. One day I was at PKP and faced a combo deck against my Hunting Pack deck. He did his combo AND I did mine on the stack. I failed the combo for getting no Hunting Packs in hand and I could've lost anyway since I can't attack with them on my opponents turn. But anyway, I had more than 20 mana in my mana pool. He had 9456478394632 mana in his pool and Psychic Drain in his hand. We both decided to mana burn just for the fun of it and the game ended in draw.

What do you think? Are comboes lame, stupid, boring, powerful, epic or great fun?

Top 10 reasons why sex at the speed of light is not an advisable form of procreation

The Joy of Sexual Physics
with Dr John

"Love is a matter of chemistry, sex is a matter of physics"

10. Penile length contraction:
According to the relativistic theory of length contraction, this is an inevitable consequence of performing sex at the speed of light. An average penis of length 13cm traveling at 99% the speed of light will contract down to a length of only 1.8cm (this is about the same length as the smallest functional penis officially recorded). At the speed of light, length contraction leads to an interesting paradox in which the penis seems to have no length at all, but is still managing to have sex somehow.

9. Penile black hole formation:
At the speed of light, relativity also predicts that the penis will attain infinite mass, essentially becoming a black hole. When its owner realises that his penis has turned into a black hole, he will become profoundly depressed and overcome by a feeling of loss. John Bobbitt would understand; but Mr Bobbitt had his penis sewn back on, whereas a penis lost to a black hole is a penis lost forever.

8. Penis vaporisation:
If the penis is not lost to a black hole, it will be lost to the uncaring force of friction. A penis traveling in and out of a vagina at close to the speed of light will be subjected to enormous resistive forces. Since resistive forces are proportional to speed, this will heat up the penis enormously. The temperature of the resulting internal environment will be so high that the penis molecules will actually undergo a phase transition into a gas, vaporising the penis almost instantaneously.

7. Relativistic flaming semen:
In the unlikely event that a vaporised penis can perform ejaculation, then the relativistic semen will create enormous air resistance, burst into flames almost instantaneously, and generate enormous impact forces. These forces will be sufficient to pierce a small hole straight through a woman's lower torso, just like a speeding bullet, only incinerating the surrounding tissue as it passes through.

6. Time-dilated necrophilia:
Unfortunately, the woman will probably be dead before ejaculation anyway. According to the relativistic theory of time dilation, then if the man is to actually thrust in and out at a speed infinitesimally close to the speed of light, then from his point of view, his partner will be ageing extremely quickly, and will be long dead before he ejaculates. Legally, he will be committing necrophilia.

5. Lack of visual appeal:
Time-dilated necrophilia, flaming relativistic ejaculation and penile black hole formation are all very dramatic, but unfortunately they don't translate well onto the big screen. In reality, relativistic sex would only last for a fraction of a second, and would appear as a sort of muddy grayish white smudge, since the eye merges all images together at such high speeds. This is probably not visually appealing enough to make a porn-at-the-speed-of-light series out of.

4. Religious values:
Certain branches of Christianity would view porn-at-the-speed-of-light immoral anyway. It's in the Bible.

3. Property damage:
A penis is made up of a collection of charged molecules, and accelerating charged molecules emit radiation. To accelerate charged penis molecules up to the speed of light in a single thrust requires enormous acceleration. This will produce a frequency and intensity of radiation similar to that produced by a small nuclear explosion. It may be worth hiring out a hotel room if you don't want your own room obliterated.

2. Deafening sonic booms:
As a penis accelerates up to the speed of light, it will inevitably surpass the sound barrier, producing deafening sonic booms with every inward and outward thrust. If the neighbours haven’t already been woken by your moaning, they will be now. Or then again maybe not, because they will be conveniently deafened and unable to hear you.

1. Excessive dietary requirements:
The amount of energy required to accelerate an average person up to 99% the speed of light for a single inward thrust is approximately equal to 16 million billion kilojoules. This is equivalent to the amount of energy gained by consuming 78 trillion weetbix. But 78 trillion weetbix will increase an average person’s mass by approximately 1.2 trillion kilograms, requiring them to eat even more weetbix just to accelerate this additional load up to the speed of light. Nine out of ten nutritionists may recommend weetbix, but this is slightly more than the recommended daily intake.

Woah. The best article ever. 'nuff said.

Found it here, go there to read more about The Joy of Sexual Physics. With more intriguing articles, such as "It wasn't me... it was the rest of the Universe", "Sex with genital piercings is a matter of electrodynamics" and "The wormhole-assisted masturbation technique".

Remember kids, this stuff is probably K-15 at best, so if you aren't sure, don't clicky on the linky... also, don't do drugs.

May the Sauce be with you.

--Cheesemeister--

TRK Theme weeks (or Months)

I came up with this idea we could have some sort of a theme week every now and then. Magic the Gathering website has ones almost every week. They have had a blue week, combo week and Bant week for example and right now they've got Naya week. Having a theme could encourage us to write to the blog (since Olli writes almost all the topics). Its of course possible to write about anything, not just something that has something to do with the theme but I believe that a strict theme would make the threshold a bit easier to cross and write.

And now for the possible themes.. Well, anything related to TRK somehow. Warhammer week, MtG week, Music week, Säestäily week, (Olli's-)off-topic-shit week etc. etc. Of course we could make them even more specific like Heavy Support week, Sorcery week or Folk metal week :D. What do you think of this and do you come up with any ideas?